When does change cause stress?
When does change effect your health?
Well first I must share with you that while change is about a sure thing as death and taxes, there is no real way to prepare for it. Life can be smooth sailing then before you know it SMACK change. As you know my husband is in the military. He has been for 21 years of his life, yesterday he came home and said, “Happy Anniversary, I retired today.” I looked at him and he said in his smiley voice, “Breathe”.
Those of you who know me know this is something I would tell him. For a refresher see this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mZbzDOpylA if you haven’t seen it, it will make you smile.
So as I began to work through an anxiety attack, I remembered that this is a change that I cannot control. There are parts of it I can control, such as begin the process of putting together a military retirement ceremony, finances (to an extent), and my reaction to the news. So I chose to control my reaction and said, wow babe, this is exciting, what is the plan? Well this required excellent communication skills, mostly on my part of patiently listening to his plan. Most of you know that we had a 4 year plan to retirement, this has come about 3.5 years earlier than expected. (Breathe)
So I thought about you guys and realized that there are times in our lives that are literally out of our control, sometimes we have to think about where we are going next. We have to employ all of the “Shannonisms” and use those tools we have practiced so hard.
To not have it affect my life too much, I have to consider how the news will affect my health, and perhaps his health :-). I choose to journal about my feelings surrounding this news, then process through the automatic thoughts, decide which thoughts were necessary to address as this process narrowed down the stressors. Then I remembered to meditate and of course breathe.
So I can’t wait to hear your updates over the next few weeks.
P.S. I want to apologize for the lack of communication the last few weeks. I have been busy training, working, and self-care practicing, and of course getting the fall cold. I will get back on track.
Shannon Shadman, LPC, MSMHC, NCC, M.Ed.